Sex and Spirituality

Sex is one of the most basic human activities and it is regarded as one of the biggest taboos all over the world, especially in eastern countries. What is regarded as "sex?" It is a meeting of two individuals who come closer to the maximum point and penetrate into each others' deep energies, as Osho describes it beautifully. On the physical level, it comes from a deeply rooted desire to reproduce, on a mental level it is the greatest pleasure that the current state of mind can imagine in most people. But the problem comes in terms of the spiritual levels. Religions and many spiritual masters have been criticizing sexual activities for ages. It is regarded as a sin in many cultures, although those people who regard it as sin resulted from sexual intercourse in the first place. 

So why is there so much resistance towards sex when sex is the basis of reproduction for all species? Why is there a great conflict when it can be the act of making love to your partner? 

Let's first discuss why it is regarded as bad in religions and spirituality. Sex can be a very strong compulsion and what I say very often is, "Compulsiveness is the only sin there is." So sex is not the sin, compulsiveness is the sin. Sex involves a very deep involvement of the energies. Of course, it is a life making process, so it requires a great involvement of the inner energies. So the whole practice of Celibacy is to preserve this huge deal of inner energies and direct that energy towards the higher goal. That is why Brahmcharies abstain themselves from sexual activities. What does the term "Brahmcharya" mean? "Brahm" means the Ultimate Reality and "Charya" means lifestyle. So the term "Brahmcharya" means accepting a lifestyle that is immersed in seeking the Ultimate Reality, Parabrahmn. And sexual activity is a huge part of one's lifestyle, so transforming that sexual energy into spiritual energies and directing it towards meditativeness is the goal of Celibacy. It has got nothing to do with morals, traditions and all those philosophies. It is simply directing your whole being towards one direction, that is Realisation. It is said to be the state when one transcends even their sexual desire. 

But how can sexual energies be transformed into spiritual energies? The master gives Yogic techniques and instructions for such transformation. But for most people, repressing sexuality is just a moral and traditional thing. Once you start repressing energy, where would it go? Energy can never be destroyed, it can only be transformed. If not transformed, it is going to find its expression somehow. How it finds expression in various people depends upon the tendencies of those people, for some it comes out in the form of constant frustration, for some it comes out as excessive anger and for some, it comes out as violence, greed or lust or any other unconscious expression. 

Now beware! I am neither saying that go and have sex to avoid such frustrations, anger and all this. Nor am I telling seekers to accept celibacy. Becoming a Brahmchari is a personal matter and it depends majorly upon the tendencies of a person. So what should normal people do about their sexuality? Try to shift most of your focus to your creative expression at your young age and find the love of your life and settle down with them at the right time. Let sex be an expression of Love. Love makes the whole difference. If sexual activity is being done as an expression of love, I believe it is divine. You start losing yourself to it and love explodes within your being at that moment. But when it is done just for the sake of mere pleasure, then it is animality, then it is just prostitution. Then it just keeps adding to your compulsive lust and drain your vital energies into more and more unconscious activity. That's why it is discarded by many masters. 

J Krishnamurti says, "What sex gives you momentarily is the total abandonment of yourself, but then you are back again with your turmoil, so you want a repetition over and over again of that state in which there is no worry, no problem, no self." So this is the only transcendental state that is there in our wildest imagination. Our perceptions are so limited that we know nothing of the higher states of meditation which are beyond the actions of the body and mind. Spirituality is just an aspiration of breaking free from such limitations and moving towards the state unbound and undisturbed by anything and anyone, which is the most natural state of being. That's how we become free.

Sexuality has to be a choice, if you get the sex you are happy, if not, you must be happy then too. It is the most beautiful expression of love with your partner if done at the right time with the right person. Whereas, it can be a compulsive trap if it is being done just for the sake of pleasure. Let the taboos around this beautiful act of love be shattered and the beauty of sensuality be adored. I wish you luck as always.